top 10 wedding day tips for Brides and Grooms
Your wedding day is one of the biggest moments of your life, and while it’s bound to be filled with love, joy, and celebration, a little bit of planning can go a long way in making it as stress-free as possible. From staying fueled for the day ahead to keeping a sense of humour when things don’t go exactly as planned, This Shropshire Wedding Photographer has put together my top 10 wedding day tips will help you stay present, relaxed, and ready to enjoy every single moment.
1 - prior planning prevents piss poor performance
I make no secret of my past, I am ex-military, but I’ve left barking orders in the past. One thing I haven’t left though is the need to plan and make sure things are at least thought about before your wedding day. The key to being really relaxed is knowing what you are going to be doing, what other people are going to do and when it is all going to happen. Winging it is for the birds - breaking the day down into each separate element and having a vision about what is going to happen means you are going to be less stressed and able to enjoy yourself more.
2 - breakfast is fuel not food
This one is easy to ignore but doing so can have a huge impact on you. I know nerves are a thing, and feeling icky-sicky is often a result of nerves, but it’s often a loooooong time until the canapés come out and even longer until the wedding breakfast. Feeling faint or worse, drinking on an empty stomach is one huge recipe for disaster…
3 - create a playlist
It’s going to be a fun day, so getting some music on as you get ready is an absolute must - you can of course create your own, but there are lots of pre-made playlists on Spotify or Apple Music that will get you in the right mood for the day. Your favourite tunes will make sure you are set up for the day, stop you from getting stressed and bring the vibe that puts you in the mood for fun.
4 - lay down the law on speeches
One of the most worrying and stressful things is having to sit there and listen to people talk about you - it’s a very British thing to not take compliments and be embarrassed, but being embarrassed and upset by inappropriate words, phrases, memories and bad times are things that YOU as a bride or groom certainly don’t need. If you can’t trust someone, it might mean telling someone that they aren’t needed to give a speech. The huge thing about the speeches is to tell the people speaking that they have a set amount of time - particularly if you are planning for the speeches before the meal. Your guests will be hungry, you will be hungry, the kitchen will be trying to work to a timeline, and Uncle Jim droning on for an hour will only increase your heart rate
5 - always remember to thank people
This is a simple and easy one - and I have often seen this used as for format for someone who feels they have to give a speech but don’t have much confidence at public speaking. A list of people to think on behalf of the bride and groom could be a way of getting round your father’s awful line in dad-jokes or stop a bets man from reeling off inappropriate stories about the groom.
6 - pace the drinks
It’s a big day. Biggest day of your life. But being so hammered you can’t remember it is going to be a huge regret, after all, all your hard work at planning and putting together a day to remember forever is…going to be lost. Yes, have a great time, have a drink. Have two or three. Have more! But it’s a long day and you need to be there for it. Pace the booze, chuck in a couple of softies, keep hydrated and drink water as well. Also keep in mind that registrars might refuse to actually marry you if they think you are drunk!
7 - spend time together
Your wedding day is going to go by at a speed that will surprise you and before you know it, you’ll be on the dance floor with your husband or wife, swaying to the last dance that the DJ is banging out. It’s midnight and your day is over, and you find the only real conversation you two have had all day has ended with the words ‘I do’. There might be lots of people there that you need to get around and talk to and thank for coming and any gifts, and that might mean you need to split up to talk to them all, but remember to have some time for yourselves to let it all actually sink in. My preferred thing is to have some confetti, or bubbles or a big cheer for you after the ceremony - but to allow the venue staff and me to organise that whilst you spend 5 minutes together, somewhere out of the way, hidden from your guests, to decompress. I also like to take the couple away for some photos after the wedding breakfast - even if we have done some portraits before the meal - just so you two can be alone together for a bit. I always send you away and use my long lens in this session, meaning you two can be away from everyone for a little bit, and still be doing something productive!
You can also use me as a reason to escape from people if they are starting to be a bit much - I’ve often been asked if I could take you for some photos, just to be in your own together for a while. I don’t mind that at all!
8 - roll with the punches
Plans are all well and good, but Montgomery said, ‘No plan survives contact with the enemy!’ so build in contingencies as part of your plan. Remember not everything can be perfect, even with the most meticulous planning and that something going awry can be the moment that you will be able to laugh about in 30 years time.
9 - keep a sense of humour
Indeed, it might not be 30 years before you can laugh about it - it might be on the day. When things start to boomerang out of control, seeing the funny side of it is a real show of character and strength. Buggering on in the face of adversity is another very British trait, and being able to laugh at ourselves and our situation is what really makes us what we are. It also encourages other people to keep up their spirits and enjoy themselves. Understanding that there being a heat wave in the weeks leading up to your wedding day and then it pouring down for 20 hours straight on the day itself isn’t just something that Alanis Morissette can sing about. You can do nothing about that at all, except have a plan on what to do instead and have a laugh at the sheer bloody irony of it all.
10 - remember what you are there for
This kind of goes along with the last two tips. Are people going to really care about the colour of the chair covers? Or if there are favours on each chair? Or what the weather was like? No, they’ll remember you and your partner exchanging rings and your first kiss and you actually being married. Cos that is what you are there for. All the rest of it is, really, just fluff. The Spice Girls were right, it’s about two becoming one. It’s about you and your partner being joined together legally in front of your family and friends and sharing in the joy that will bring to you both.
Bonus - surround yourself with people you like and trust
Top tips lists are really all about making your life easier and cutting down on your stress and any anxiety. All the things listed above will help with that but perhaps the biggest thing to reduce any anxiety and stressful feelings you might have about everything is to surround yourself with people who know you, who you know and who you trust.
This is why I spend time with your guys before the wedding day. A pre-wedding meeting and photoshoot is not just a time to discuss wedding plans, it’s also a time to chat, build rapport, become friends for a short while and most of all build up trust between us. You need to know that the reason I am in this business is because, deep down, I bloody love people and I love weddings and I love parties and I love photographing all those things. I literally have the best job in the world and I am not in this to make a quick buck, I’m in this with genuine enthusiasm. I want you to have the best day, and to make sure your pictures are as special as possible and to make between us we can ban boring photos.
I am there for the fun. For the laughter. For the love. For you.
